So, it's my birthday today.

 I don't really give a shit, though, my family had never made a fuss out of it(no cakes, parties, presents etc); but what does bother me is the fact that I am now officially a year older and yet I'm still as much of a mess as I was years ago.

 I'm still struggling with the same problems, equally useless, and just as lost.

I've never expected a sudden chance or abrupt improvement, but this sucks and I'm sick of it; sick of this melancholic disposition, the mundane routines, the constant disappointments, the prospect of never going to be good enough for anything and anyone...

 I've been feeling like absolute shit since Saturday (thank you, CL football) and it's the return of the all-that-is-shit-about-life waves of thoughts and the only thing I seem to be able to do is to mindlessly ramble on here and try not to indulge in it and wait for it to go away.

 It's just one of those moments

 again


 and again


 and again

Photos from my Chinese trip

Ramblings

Hola todos!

Been away for a while thanks to my procrastinating nature and several post-match depressions. How have you been? I've done northing during the past weeks except from messing around on the internet and bickering with the family. I have this job tomorrow that would require waking up at 5h30 and ends up at fucking 18h00 and I'm really not looking forward to it. Don't know how much I'm getting paid either but I hope a wee bit higher than normal since the hours are fucking long. Another reason why I'm really dreading it is that I've been doing nada and waking up not much earlier than midday for so long I just can't be arsed to do anything else anymore.

I'll be taking most of April off for some travelling and then I have 3 months of unpaid internship before starting university. My faculty is going to have tons of activities before the courses actually start (none of which I intend to participate in) and even this one-month course (aimed at the people with shite English and lots of time) so now I'm more than certain that I'm going to be that person who doesn't know anyone again but I'm not there to make friends so I think I'll be fine. Just need a mate or two who would give me their lecture notes.

I'll just leave you with this:



Ciao!

E-reader or printed words?

I've had a lot of mess to sort out recently and I needed to distract myself so I thought I'd occupy myself with some challenging (think Ulysses) stuff to read.

Here's the problem: I no longer have access to a library and I can't afford to keep buying new books and/or a new shelf to put them in. I also have a father who absolutely loathes the sight of books and anything lying around anywhere.

I've relied on free e-books before, but only for picking out passages and such. I can read them like I read normal books since I get distracted extremely easily and it's only a matter of seconds until I open a new tab and forget about what I was reading completely.

So...I've been thinking about getting a Kindle or something of that sort. Although it lacks the romanticism and the feel of printed books that I love ever so much, I think it might be a more practical choice here. I can even claim that it's for an academic purpose and get my parents to subsidise. I don't know.

What do you think? I've never seen one of these irl before, does any of you own one?